


human enough

by TeamSwipsy



Series: DC Drabbles/Character Studies [1]
Category: DCU, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Character Study, Prompt Fill, conner is a good boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:28:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23259931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeamSwipsy/pseuds/TeamSwipsy
Summary: Prompt: "Sometimes all we need is for someone to have a little faith in us."
Series: DC Drabbles/Character Studies [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1672444
Kudos: 3





	human enough

**Author's Note:**

> prompt fill for conner! he's a good boy and deserves all the love

It was an adjustment, needless to say, for Conner to go from being a weapon and getting orders to being treated with a hesitation that just didn’t make sense. 

If anything, it sent him reeling, made him resentful of the sudden, unexplained change. As much as he hated orders, he’d settle for someone telling him what it would take to get rid of that hesitant behavior, because it left him feeling like he was adrift, and that wasn’t something he’d experienced before - and hoped never to feel again. And he could understand, maybe, if he’d done something to earn the behavior. But he couldn’t think of anything he’d done that would cause it. 

Of course, his lack of understanding on the situation didn’t last as long as it probably should’ve. Another handful of encounters with Superman, and it became all to clear that it wasn’t something he was doing, it was him. The confusion and hurt melted away into anger, and he almost felt bad for the others who tried to help him, tried explaining what it all was and what it meant. 

Almost. 

He couldn’t quite bring himself to, for all that he pulled himself away from the attempts to help. He couldn’t outright leave, though, some strange sense of want keeping him there, some half-dead hope that maybe, just maybe things would improve with time - they had last time, hadn’t they? He’d gotten out of Cadmus given enough time, he’d gotten his freedom. So maybe patience would work this time, too. Even though it definitely wasn’t his strong suit. In fact, he wasn’t sure it could be any further from being something he was good at. Every chance he had to go out, get some of the energy out to try and ease that uncomfortable itch under his skin, he took. Even if it put him in miles over his head. 

No training, no orders, nothing keeping him from going off the deep end if he wasn’t careful, but he threw himself into hero work with a vengeance. Because if he could prove himself, prove his worth, maybe it would mean something. And he didn’t have the words to explain that to anyone who asked after a harebrained mission, so he was content to settle for a shrug, a dry ‘I wanted to’, and biting back the frustration at not being able to express what he needed to until he was alone. It was so easy for everyone else, so why wasn’t it easy for him? 

Not to mention, the few times he got to see the other kids with their mentors, it was so starkly different - even in disapproval, they still tried, they still did their best to train and help the kids. So what was so different about him that Superman couldn’t - wouldn’t - do the same for him? He could chase it in circles for days and still not have any answer other than the ‘you’re not good enough for him to want to help yet’ that occasionally popped up, sounding suspiciously like the man who’d always given him orders. 

Unfortunately, after so long of that being the only answer he could come up with on his own, it’s what he decided to act on as the truth. If he could get better, he could fix this. And sure, the others said that wasn’t right when they pieced it together, but it was all he had to go on. It had to count for something, at least for a starting point. Even if it didn’t work, it was better than nothing. It gave him something to work with. 

Of course, all that work didn’t prepare him for it to fail, or for things to eventually get better. And sure, it was an awful situation that did eventually change things - he hated being under someone else’s control with a passion, but it was still something he struggled to deal with on his own. But it was still an improvement, right? It was an odd change, sure, but an improvement. He thought, anyway. 

He wasn’t entirely sure, honestly, when he realized how awkward it felt to try to have conversations with Clark - _Clark._ That was the weirdest thing about all of this, it wasn’t just Superman as a hero who was working with him, but Clark as a person, and he wasn’t entirely sure he was human enough for that yet. It had to be worth something, didn’t it? Even if the faith the guy put in him sometimes set him on edge - especially when it was something new, a new power training or learning how to understand and deal with his own emotions, neither of those things felt easy - it still soothed the hurt he’d held. 

A start. That’s all he’d wanted, and now that he had it, he didn’t know what to do with it. 

But he’d make it count, somehow.

**Author's Note:**

> we're on tumblr at teamswipsy! :)


End file.
